I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
it's always good to have a friend that's a hairdresser, a massage therapist, maybe throw in a lawyer just in case, and always have a friend on food stamps
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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