So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
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He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
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Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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