butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
You now have a new job. Call me around 1pm everyday and make sure I've eaten something. All I've had today is dick and cheesecake.
Randomize
