She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
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