But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Randomize
