addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Would you be mad if I just used the argument "I'm allowed to say that, my best friend is a lesbian"?
Never. I'm proud to help you win arguments.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
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