This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Randomize