I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize