Pappa wants mamma naked
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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