a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Status: mom bitching about grandma not shutting the fuck up, while not shutting the fuck up. Dear Jesus give me strength or more bourbon.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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