my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
I just gargled with NyQuil
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
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