Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
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