She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
