I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Do you think I could use my teacher of month Award to get free drinks?
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
Randomize
