a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
