If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
