Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Weddings at vineyards should never be allowed to happen. I'm pretty sure I drank every bottle they produced in 2008.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
