are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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