Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
After tacos, we're chasing women.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Angels sing when his face is between my thighs. I came 3 times before he even came up for air.
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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