i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
I think I'll shower sitting down. That seems safe.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
