We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Randomize
