I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Alright, text me when you get close. I've got a mustache and I'm ready to get my day drunk on.
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize
