We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
