remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
It was only 12:11 and I needed to make a Pepto Latte and call it a night, I don't remember that being part of my new years resolution.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I am one with the molecules
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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