Its ok relax. i can tell ur gonna start raggin. talk 2 u next week
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
Randomize
