You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
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