I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
I came so hard my ears popped.
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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