carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize
