I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
Randomize
