roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
