i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
being pregnant is like rehab
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I still have a little drunk in my system
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
Randomize