Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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