it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Randomize
