I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
