____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
