Whod you bang
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
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