butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
he wants to bone in the snuggie
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
