I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
