so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Well she's 'call Wayne Gretzky a whore' drunk so you tell me.
Randomize
