the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Randomize
