I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
This is the prime rib incident all over again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize