this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize