I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
that's an acceptable place to lick
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
