Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Hey dude. Went to the hospital. Call me when you get up
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
You made out with two different species that night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
She dumped me and then asked if I wanted to come to her improv show. Fuck theatre majors, man.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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