I didn't go out last night, but I dreamed that I blacked out and the *CRAZY* thing I did was to eat 12 cupcakes off 12 diff plates and stack them up neatly. If I had a life, I'd hate it.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Remember Christopher who always sends me pictures of his penis? Look to your right, boy in the blue.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
