new low.... made out with someone while peeing
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
