nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
