just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
