Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
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