hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
i out mim tonsoeep
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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