Texts From Last Night

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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.

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  (402): Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie. http://tfl.nu/vbht
  Replies (15) Good night (2138) Bad night (573)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  so you masturbated because Oprah told you?

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  (603): so you masturbated because Oprah told you? http://tfl.nu/qr8j
  Replies (11) Good night (3365) Bad night (1144)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.

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  (613): Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing. http://tfl.nu/hxx0
  Replies (37) Good night (4386) Bad night (718)
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  (651): View more from Minnesota

  glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.

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  (651): glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic. http://tfl.nu/f4h9
  Replies (22) Good night (5683) Bad night (823)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time

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  (314): You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time http://tfl.nu/thrg
  Replies (17) Good night (2128) Bad night (3019)
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  (269): View more from Michigan

  I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.

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  (269): I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police. http://tfl.nu/uj8w
  Replies (8) Good night (2742) Bad night (785)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.

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  (360): I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid. http://tfl.nu/iiw2
  Replies (5) Good night (1626) Bad night (506)
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  (206): View more from Washington

  Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.

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  (206): Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me. http://tfl.nu/pgvw
  Replies (8) Good night (1084) Bad night (562)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."

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  (757): You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE." http://tfl.nu/ep4x
  Replies (5) Good night (1475) Bad night (422)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.

  (210): View more from Texas

  my parents really loved me back then.

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  (210): I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed. (210): my parents really loved me back then. http://tfl.nu/7xue
  Replies (9) Good night (1336) Bad night (461)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...

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  (802): Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not... http://tfl.nu/ztpl
  Replies (5) Good night (739) Bad night (415)
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  (734): View more from Michigan

  Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?

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  (734): Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night? http://tfl.nu/9xzb
  Replies (1) Good night (538) Bad night (374)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.

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  (702): We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly. http://tfl.nu/ykqa
  Replies (0) Good night (430) Bad night (212)
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.

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  (614): I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting. http://tfl.nu/welf
  Replies (8) Good night (683) Bad night (336)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  You're the horniest male I have ever encountered

  (404): View more from Georgia

  Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.

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  (334): You're the horniest male I have ever encountered (404): Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you. http://tfl.nu/3v94
  Replies (2) Good night (733) Bad night (251)

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