Texts From Last Night

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  (972): View more from Texas

  What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?

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  (972): What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard? http://tfl.nu/a8hs
  Replies (1) Good night (865) Bad night (1157)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup

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  (413): theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup http://tfl.nu/8gp9
  Replies (12) Good night (653) Bad night (2707)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

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  (512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom
  Replies (26) Good night (4433) Bad night (1323)
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  (949): View more from California

  so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"

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  (949): so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later" http://tfl.nu/dpva
  Replies (17) Good night (6870) Bad night (790)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.

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  (608): The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries. http://tfl.nu/yhvv
  Replies (12) Good night (6568) Bad night (946)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!

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  (319): She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?! http://tfl.nu/73w6
  Replies (5) Good night (1258) Bad night (3088)
• Favorite

  (970): View more from Colorado

  No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...

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  (970): No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand... http://tfl.nu/1d8q
  Replies (10) Good night (858) Bad night (4946)
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  (802): View more from Vermont

  He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.

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  (802): He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass. http://tfl.nu/9wu9
  Replies (23) Good night (2599) Bad night (847)
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  (510): View more from California

  It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.

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  (510): It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me. http://tfl.nu/e2b3
  Replies (4) Good night (1027) Bad night (466)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.

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  (501): You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns. http://tfl.nu/4e6u
  Replies (1) Good night (525) Bad night (289)
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  (304): View more from West Virginia

  He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.

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  (304): He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke. http://tfl.nu/5p7e
  Replies (1) Good night (386) Bad night (303)
• Favorite

  (562): View more from California

  Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.

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  (562): Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works. http://tfl.nu/5yc6
  Replies (3) Good night (269) Bad night (585)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"

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  (469): The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party" http://tfl.nu/vn3r
  Replies (0) Good night (841) Bad night (271)
• Favorite

  (469): View more from Texas

  I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.

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  (469): I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some. http://tfl.nu/ar3h
  Replies (1) Good night (521) Bad night (364)
• Favorite

  (573): View more from Missouri

  He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.

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  (573): He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth. http://tfl.nu/w14e
  Replies (1) Good night (490) Bad night (197)

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