Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.

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(218): Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace. http://tfl.nu/81g3

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(224): View more from Illinois

My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.

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(224): My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it. http://tfl.nu/fqyk

Replies (18) Good night (824) Bad night (2647) Order T-Shirt
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(845): View more from New York

I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.

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(845): I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day. http://tfl.nu/52wz

Replies (14) Good night (4148) Bad night (659)
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(630): View more from Illinois

last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.

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(630): last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone. http://tfl.nu/hjip

Replies (21) Good night (8264) Bad night (795)
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(469): View more from Texas

It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.

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(469): It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays. http://tfl.nu/21z4

Replies (13) Good night (4277) Bad night (1136) Order T-Shirt
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(864): View more from South Carolina

For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.

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(864): For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before. http://tfl.nu/hdcs

Replies (35) Good night (8711) Bad night (1065) Order T-Shirt
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(313): View more from Michigan

Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?

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(313): Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was? http://tfl.nu/iwh3

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(314): View more from Missouri

It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.

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(314): It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage. http://tfl.nu/ccnt

Replies (13) Good night (2572) Bad night (1276) Order T-Shirt
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(712): View more from Iowa

Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi

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(712): Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi http://tfl.nu/26u7

Replies (3) Good night (1968) Bad night (910) Order T-Shirt
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(760): View more from California

I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.

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(760): I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything. http://tfl.nu/7wj6

Replies (3) Good night (316) Bad night (1172) Order T-Shirt
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(850): View more from Florida

She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING

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(850): She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING http://tfl.nu/6jxf

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(714): View more from California

Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?

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(714): Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus? http://tfl.nu/oxq8

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(336): View more from North Carolina

Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?

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(336): Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex? http://tfl.nu/6zbe

Replies (5) Good night (650) Bad night (396) Order T-Shirt
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(734): View more from Michigan

I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.

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(734): I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first. http://tfl.nu/6gn4

Replies (1) Good night (474) Bad night (173) Order T-Shirt
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(907): View more from Alaska

You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.

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(907): You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug. http://tfl.nu/t259

Replies (3) Good night (434) Bad night (260) Order T-Shirt

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