we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
These 25 Teachers Said Horrible Things to Their Students
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
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I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.