I made out with four boys last night, AND EXCUSE ME WHILE I COUNT HOW MANY GIRLS.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
These 19 Teachers Had Very Inappropriate Interactions With Students
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Women Confess 25 Instant Deal-Breakers On A Man’s Dating Profile
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
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