You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
Momentum is force x velocity. So therefore velocity is 0 - hammered, and force is ur legs locked up and ur face hits the ground.
I felt paralized they just wouldnt move. We need segways when were drunk cuz if we start to fall forward they well take off and save the fall.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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