Texts From Last Night

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  (208): View more from Idaho

  I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait

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  (208): I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait http://tfl.nu/xv9u
  Replies (9) Good night (2277) Bad night (936)
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  (763): View more from Minnesota

  I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.

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  (763): I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska. http://tfl.nu/wvmg
  Replies (25) Good night (1005) Bad night (4768)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college

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  (615): Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college http://tfl.nu/1jn9
  Replies (7) Good night (5195) Bad night (733)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge

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  (203): just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge http://tfl.nu/b456
  Replies (10) Good night (1110) Bad night (6990)
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  (360): View more from Washington

  We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.

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  (360): We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced. http://tfl.nu/trxy
  Replies (4) Good night (3514) Bad night (1284)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.

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  (732): I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn. http://tfl.nu/68i4
  Replies (3) Good night (2654) Bad night (822)
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  (818): View more from California

  Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.

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  (818): Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong. http://tfl.nu/rtog
  Replies (3) Good night (1333) Bad night (758)
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  (931): View more from Tennessee

  his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood

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  (931): his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood http://tfl.nu/n403
  Replies (20) Good night (4078) Bad night (1197)
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  (573): View more from Missouri

  I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.

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  (573): I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso. http://tfl.nu/7zvg
  Replies (2) Good night (864) Bad night (581)
• Favorite

  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in

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  (724): Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in http://tfl.nu/7o0k
  Replies (11) Good night (788) Bad night (1484)
• Favorite

  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?

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  (870): I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life? http://tfl.nu/mep1
  Replies (1) Good night (624) Bad night (544)
• Favorite

  (281): View more from Texas

  Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.

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  (281): Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower. http://tfl.nu/elx1
  Replies (1) Good night (379) Bad night (250)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.

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  (585): He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down. http://tfl.nu/e3ty
  Replies (3) Good night (284) Bad night (882)
• Favorite

  (512): View more from Texas

  Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit

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  (512): Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit http://tfl.nu/v19d
  Replies (1) Good night (551) Bad night (190)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?

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  (770): Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird? http://tfl.nu/6m2y
  Replies (3) Good night (349) Bad night (186)

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