I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
Randomize
