we need blinds so i can safely watch porn during the day
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I turned down free cocaine. I both respect and regret and that decision.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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