i was born a porn star she said
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Taking out my recycling and 90% of it is alcohol and cat food. I am judging myself.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
